Untukmu, Malaysia.
The hustle and bustle of daily life in Malaysia. Some find it oddly refreshing, others find it disturbingly hectic and believe that there can never, ever be order in chaos.
You wake up in the morning, and not even five minutes away from your home you’ll get sideswiped by a typical motor cyclist going on his daily routine of making other motorists lives miserable. Just as you start yammering about how Malaysians have zero road ethics, you get cut at a traffic light queue that you’ve been waiting for for the past fifteen minutes.
“Hoi, pantat, tak leh tunggu macam orang lain ke?” is the typical response given by the aggressed Malaysian motorist.
Obviously we say this in the confines of our air conditioned car (preferably Klimat Kontrolled), with the radio turned to eleven (preferably R&B, but trance feng tau will do); loud enough to wake up your neighbours but not too loud as to make you seem ostentatious. Yeah right.
Don’t get me wrong here.
I love Malaysia. I love Malaysians too. Think about it, where in the world can you find drivers driving on the opposite lane (towards the oncoming traffic) and we, obviously having the right of way, don’t even blink at the blatant disregard for road safety or gasp, the law even.
Where else can you find Teh Tarik at 3 in the morning?
Where else can you have an internet connection with unlimited download for as little as 10 US dollars p/month?
Where else can you burn other people’s forestry and STILL blame it on the weather! Or the government… ☺
That’s Malaysia for you. Malaysia definately boleh.
Unfortunately this attitude fairly describes how each and every one of us could be at any given point in time. We dump rubbish freely. We tailgate people as though we’re on a constant diarrhea attack. We whistle at strangers, and when they turn around to give us the finger, we get all riled up.
We fight over petty things. We do everything the “easy” way. If there was a job where a Malaysian could stay at home and do nothing but watch Akademi Fantasia or some other reality TV show, the whole population would be “self-employed.”
Only in Malaysia could you sell DVDs illegally and still claim that you have your rights as a private citizen come arrest time. Hahaha.
Where else could you drive at your own arbitrary speed limit? 300 km/h is a possibility if you have a car that goes that fast. I’m sure a few of my friends here can attest to the thrill of actually..ehem…well you know where I’m going here. In fact a know of a few Singaporean friends who do it as well. Tsk, tsk. Across the Causeway konon. Heee.
You want to buy yourself a Rolls Royce but can’t afford to pay the obscene 300 percent duty? “Takde hal bang…”
“Bos…boleh settle ah..?” is the exact question that should be asked.
“Can lah…shu-were can kow-tim wan right…?”
Same goes for ehem…getting caught for speeding, lewd behaviour, smuggling…dear me dear me. Almost everything-lah.
But that's what makes Malaysia so interesting. Colourful wouldn't even begin to describe it.
So to my lovely, lovely Malaysia. This year you turn 48. And what a wonderful 48 years it has been. You’re home to the KLCC, (Twin Towers and Convention Centre) Putrajaya, Cyberjaya, KLIA, F1 Circuit in Sepang, KL Tower, Port Of Tanjung Pelepas, Pulau Redang, Sipadan, Ketam, Tioman, the infamous Pudu Jail, the glitz and glamour of downtown Bangsar, the bargain basement at Sungei Wang, the glorious “Bridge To Nowhere” and many, many others.
But most importantly, you are home to Millions upon Millions of proud Malaysians.
I am most definitely one of them.
I am proud to be Malaysian. And I am proud to be IN Malaysia.
Here’s to a glorious MERDEKA. I know it’s early, but fuck it, I’m patriotic.
Hoooo-weeeee.
You wake up in the morning, and not even five minutes away from your home you’ll get sideswiped by a typical motor cyclist going on his daily routine of making other motorists lives miserable. Just as you start yammering about how Malaysians have zero road ethics, you get cut at a traffic light queue that you’ve been waiting for for the past fifteen minutes.
“Hoi, pantat, tak leh tunggu macam orang lain ke?” is the typical response given by the aggressed Malaysian motorist.
Obviously we say this in the confines of our air conditioned car (preferably Klimat Kontrolled), with the radio turned to eleven (preferably R&B, but trance feng tau will do); loud enough to wake up your neighbours but not too loud as to make you seem ostentatious. Yeah right.
Don’t get me wrong here.
I love Malaysia. I love Malaysians too. Think about it, where in the world can you find drivers driving on the opposite lane (towards the oncoming traffic) and we, obviously having the right of way, don’t even blink at the blatant disregard for road safety or gasp, the law even.
Where else can you find Teh Tarik at 3 in the morning?
Where else can you have an internet connection with unlimited download for as little as 10 US dollars p/month?
Where else can you burn other people’s forestry and STILL blame it on the weather! Or the government… ☺
That’s Malaysia for you. Malaysia definately boleh.
Unfortunately this attitude fairly describes how each and every one of us could be at any given point in time. We dump rubbish freely. We tailgate people as though we’re on a constant diarrhea attack. We whistle at strangers, and when they turn around to give us the finger, we get all riled up.
We fight over petty things. We do everything the “easy” way. If there was a job where a Malaysian could stay at home and do nothing but watch Akademi Fantasia or some other reality TV show, the whole population would be “self-employed.”
Only in Malaysia could you sell DVDs illegally and still claim that you have your rights as a private citizen come arrest time. Hahaha.
Where else could you drive at your own arbitrary speed limit? 300 km/h is a possibility if you have a car that goes that fast. I’m sure a few of my friends here can attest to the thrill of actually..ehem…well you know where I’m going here. In fact a know of a few Singaporean friends who do it as well. Tsk, tsk. Across the Causeway konon. Heee.
You want to buy yourself a Rolls Royce but can’t afford to pay the obscene 300 percent duty? “Takde hal bang…”
“Bos…boleh settle ah..?” is the exact question that should be asked.
“Can lah…shu-were can kow-tim wan right…?”
Same goes for ehem…getting caught for speeding, lewd behaviour, smuggling…dear me dear me. Almost everything-lah.
But that's what makes Malaysia so interesting. Colourful wouldn't even begin to describe it.
So to my lovely, lovely Malaysia. This year you turn 48. And what a wonderful 48 years it has been. You’re home to the KLCC, (Twin Towers and Convention Centre) Putrajaya, Cyberjaya, KLIA, F1 Circuit in Sepang, KL Tower, Port Of Tanjung Pelepas, Pulau Redang, Sipadan, Ketam, Tioman, the infamous Pudu Jail, the glitz and glamour of downtown Bangsar, the bargain basement at Sungei Wang, the glorious “Bridge To Nowhere” and many, many others.
But most importantly, you are home to Millions upon Millions of proud Malaysians.
I am most definitely one of them.
I am proud to be Malaysian. And I am proud to be IN Malaysia.
Here’s to a glorious MERDEKA. I know it’s early, but fuck it, I’m patriotic.
Hoooo-weeeee.
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