"Son, when you grow up..."
Aspirations. Guidelines.
We all grew up with expectations from our parents. It involved a large aspect of our daily lives and included everything from studying, to where you're going to end up working, who you end up dating, and who your parents end up suggesting you to marry.
Let me highlight the poignant fact that most parents only 'suggest' who they think would best suit their child as a potential husband/wife. And please don't tell me that you've never gone through this. Most of my friends have been going through some form of suggestive courting since they were 15.
I'm sure when you were dating, you've heard your parents utter the dreadful words,
"Son, she's not right for you."
At least once. I'm sure you've heard it once before.
And you know how much it stinks. I mean you're young and in love, and here they are telling you who to date and who to dump. But you see, they didn't say,
"Son, tell that bitch to get her papadum ass out the door," either did they? Nope, i'm sure they did no such thing. They were merely SUGGESTIVE.
You see, when I was much, much younger, my parents had outlined who i had to marry when i came of age. Unfortunately, the girl they wanted me to end up being with "till death do us part", was someone i hardly got along with. I used to bully her intensely, and never took a second glance at her. She was a year younger than me, but at the time (Primary school days people!) a year made a HELL of a lot of difference. Yes i know i know, me dating a girl 4 years younger than me recently doesn't do much for my personal preferences these days, but bare with me here when I say...DULU LAIN! :)
Okay, getting side-tracked there for a bit. As I was saying, here was a girl that I couldn't even have a decent conversation with, and my parents were already planning the kompangs and the design of the pelamin. I was like, shit, I still had comic books under my bed! Come on, will you NOT pressure me with all this funky assed arranged marriages? At least not for another TEN years?
In retrospect, I kinda understand why my parents actually did that. It was because most of my siblings were all getting married at the time. In all that euphoria, it must've slipped their mind that I was only 12 then.
Right. So Parents wanted Girl. I hated Girl, and told Parents, "I will never end up falling for here Ma. How do you want me to marry someone who I can't even look at? We squabble at every given opportunity!"
Ah, typical alpha male ego. My parents finally succumbed to the stark realisation that I was after all only 12 years old, and couldn't see beyond next week or when I was getting delivery of my Uncanny X-Men no # 264 from the Mind Shop.
A few months later, I finished primary and went to high school and never talked, seen or thought about that girl ever again. Years passed, and the girl vanished from my thoughts entirely. In some ways I kind of regretted the fact that even when I was in high school, I never made an effort to look her up and remain 'friends', but I did that for a reason anyway; to stop my parents from fixing us together all over again.
A couple of years ago, I swore I caught a passing glance of the girl. I thought of going up to her to say hello, but she was too far away, and the crowd was going against me. She might not remember me, I thought, or worse, it could be a case of mistaken identity. I mean, I hadn't seen the girl in eight years anyway. I didn't even know how she was supposed to look like. Oh well, it's not like we had anything anyway. I turned around, walked towards the sliding door and told myself that if that was really her, I knew that i'd never get a chance to see her again.
And that was exactly what happened. I never saw her again.
Until today.
Ten years have passed since we last bickered. Ten years have passed since i've last seen her smile. Ten years have passed since she's even said a hello.
It was a warm Sunday afternoon, and my family and I had decided to take a leisurely drive to Sentul West and catch Harith Iskander's new stand up at the brand spanking new KLPAC (KL Performing Arts Centre)
The show was moving, the audience supportive, and the ambience was simplicity in itself. It was an elegant performance. Truly Malaysian, and filled with a mixed bag of emotions.
As the audience gave Harith a well deserved standing ovation, I turned my head around to look for my brother and caught something else instead.
The girl. She was here. Not even two rows away. There she was, smiling the widest smile any person could possibly have, and giving Harith a hearty applause. Then it happened. Our eyes met, and for a moment I felt like i was 12 years old all over again.
My heart skipped a beat.
She was all grown up now. The stubby girl who fought with me on every occasion had grown up into a beautiful young lady.
"Ma, look who's that." I said.
My mom turned around for a gander, but she wasn't there anymore.
"Who?" she said, looking a little dazed.
"Nobody." I scoffed. I must've hallucinated.
Oh well, it was a good hallucination at least. I grabbed my ticket, my nephew and my phone and walked out of the hall amidst a wall of people. I kept doing a double take, to see if the girl was still (if at all) around. She wasn't.
As we got out of the hall, my father told us that he had to go for a tour of the toilet. I decided to take up his offer since I had to go anyways. As we walked, I kept looking around to see if she was in the vicinity. Nada. Zip.
It was only when we were about to leave did I notice a woman waving at our family. I couldn't see who she was, much less know who she was waving at. I assumed it was directed at my mom, so i pointed the woman out to her.
Just as I did that, the Girl appeared out of nowhere and tugged on that woman's arm.
"Mama," she said, her eyes glazing across the lobby as she caught my eyes. She smiled.
"Eddie, isn't that..?" asked my mom. Interrupting my daydream.
"Yeah Ma, I think it is." I replied.
My mother gave me a knowing smile, rubbed my shoulders, and went off to say hello to her mother and the rest of her family.
But just before she took her first step forward, she turned to me and said..
"Tu lah...when I told you that she'd turn out to be a fine lady one day...you didn't want to believe me..."
And that was that. It's been ten years since i've last seen this girl, and in that ten years i had taken zero effort to get to know her. Now, here I was standing not 10 inches away from her and mentally banging my ego driven head to the linoleum floor.
I regret that I never got to know her as she grew up into the girl she is today.
I regret that we never even remained friends throughout the years.
But MOST of all..
I regret that I NEVER TOOK her phone number today.
So the next time i'll bump into her again, is probably ten years from now. If i'm that lucky.
Lol.
Figures, yeah?
We all grew up with expectations from our parents. It involved a large aspect of our daily lives and included everything from studying, to where you're going to end up working, who you end up dating, and who your parents end up suggesting you to marry.
Let me highlight the poignant fact that most parents only 'suggest' who they think would best suit their child as a potential husband/wife. And please don't tell me that you've never gone through this. Most of my friends have been going through some form of suggestive courting since they were 15.
I'm sure when you were dating, you've heard your parents utter the dreadful words,
"Son, she's not right for you."
At least once. I'm sure you've heard it once before.
And you know how much it stinks. I mean you're young and in love, and here they are telling you who to date and who to dump. But you see, they didn't say,
"Son, tell that bitch to get her papadum ass out the door," either did they? Nope, i'm sure they did no such thing. They were merely SUGGESTIVE.
You see, when I was much, much younger, my parents had outlined who i had to marry when i came of age. Unfortunately, the girl they wanted me to end up being with "till death do us part", was someone i hardly got along with. I used to bully her intensely, and never took a second glance at her. She was a year younger than me, but at the time (Primary school days people!) a year made a HELL of a lot of difference. Yes i know i know, me dating a girl 4 years younger than me recently doesn't do much for my personal preferences these days, but bare with me here when I say...DULU LAIN! :)
Okay, getting side-tracked there for a bit. As I was saying, here was a girl that I couldn't even have a decent conversation with, and my parents were already planning the kompangs and the design of the pelamin. I was like, shit, I still had comic books under my bed! Come on, will you NOT pressure me with all this funky assed arranged marriages? At least not for another TEN years?
In retrospect, I kinda understand why my parents actually did that. It was because most of my siblings were all getting married at the time. In all that euphoria, it must've slipped their mind that I was only 12 then.
Right. So Parents wanted Girl. I hated Girl, and told Parents, "I will never end up falling for here Ma. How do you want me to marry someone who I can't even look at? We squabble at every given opportunity!"
Ah, typical alpha male ego. My parents finally succumbed to the stark realisation that I was after all only 12 years old, and couldn't see beyond next week or when I was getting delivery of my Uncanny X-Men no # 264 from the Mind Shop.
A few months later, I finished primary and went to high school and never talked, seen or thought about that girl ever again. Years passed, and the girl vanished from my thoughts entirely. In some ways I kind of regretted the fact that even when I was in high school, I never made an effort to look her up and remain 'friends', but I did that for a reason anyway; to stop my parents from fixing us together all over again.
A couple of years ago, I swore I caught a passing glance of the girl. I thought of going up to her to say hello, but she was too far away, and the crowd was going against me. She might not remember me, I thought, or worse, it could be a case of mistaken identity. I mean, I hadn't seen the girl in eight years anyway. I didn't even know how she was supposed to look like. Oh well, it's not like we had anything anyway. I turned around, walked towards the sliding door and told myself that if that was really her, I knew that i'd never get a chance to see her again.
And that was exactly what happened. I never saw her again.
Ten years have passed since we last bickered. Ten years have passed since i've last seen her smile. Ten years have passed since she's even said a hello.
It was a warm Sunday afternoon, and my family and I had decided to take a leisurely drive to Sentul West and catch Harith Iskander's new stand up at the brand spanking new KLPAC (KL Performing Arts Centre)
The show was moving, the audience supportive, and the ambience was simplicity in itself. It was an elegant performance. Truly Malaysian, and filled with a mixed bag of emotions.
As the audience gave Harith a well deserved standing ovation, I turned my head around to look for my brother and caught something else instead.
The girl. She was here. Not even two rows away. There she was, smiling the widest smile any person could possibly have, and giving Harith a hearty applause. Then it happened. Our eyes met, and for a moment I felt like i was 12 years old all over again.
My heart skipped a beat.
She was all grown up now. The stubby girl who fought with me on every occasion had grown up into a beautiful young lady.
"Ma, look who's that." I said.
My mom turned around for a gander, but she wasn't there anymore.
"Who?" she said, looking a little dazed.
"Nobody." I scoffed. I must've hallucinated.
Oh well, it was a good hallucination at least. I grabbed my ticket, my nephew and my phone and walked out of the hall amidst a wall of people. I kept doing a double take, to see if the girl was still (if at all) around. She wasn't.
As we got out of the hall, my father told us that he had to go for a tour of the toilet. I decided to take up his offer since I had to go anyways. As we walked, I kept looking around to see if she was in the vicinity. Nada. Zip.
It was only when we were about to leave did I notice a woman waving at our family. I couldn't see who she was, much less know who she was waving at. I assumed it was directed at my mom, so i pointed the woman out to her.
Just as I did that, the Girl appeared out of nowhere and tugged on that woman's arm.
"Mama," she said, her eyes glazing across the lobby as she caught my eyes. She smiled.
"Eddie, isn't that..?" asked my mom. Interrupting my daydream.
"Yeah Ma, I think it is." I replied.
My mother gave me a knowing smile, rubbed my shoulders, and went off to say hello to her mother and the rest of her family.
But just before she took her first step forward, she turned to me and said..
"Tu lah...when I told you that she'd turn out to be a fine lady one day...you didn't want to believe me..."
And that was that. It's been ten years since i've last seen this girl, and in that ten years i had taken zero effort to get to know her. Now, here I was standing not 10 inches away from her and mentally banging my ego driven head to the linoleum floor.
I regret that I never got to know her as she grew up into the girl she is today.
I regret that we never even remained friends throughout the years.
But MOST of all..
I regret that I NEVER TOOK her phone number today.
So the next time i'll bump into her again, is probably ten years from now. If i'm that lucky.
Lol.
Figures, yeah?
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