"Dead Last"
Competition. A form of exercise which revels in the spirit of blatant combatitiveness. To the winner goes the spoils right? So what praytell, does the loser get left with?
I'm sure we've all gone through some form of competition in our lives. Exams, Sports, Penis envy, Gadget collections and of course the exponentially expanding Video Games tournies.
Okay, I'm not talking about the one on one, i beat you, you beat me, we all boast about it-kinda of competition. You see, when we're on live, we not only go against every other like minded enthusiasts, we also go against the cream and the crud of the crop. Well i suppose that's fine, since there's always gotta be balance in any aspect of life. Whenever there's a winner there has to be a loser.
However, in this bleak scenario the loser is a constant, in a wildly chaotic world of universal unknowns. A+B=Eddie and Naem. We're the constant.
You see, it's not like we're not trying. Not to tickle our own fansies, but we're pretty good in isolation. Among all our friends, we're definately grade-A material when it comes to bulging our eyeballs on the TV. But let us out of our self imposed captivity - and all hell breaks loose. On us.
We've used all of our favourite cars on all of our favorite tracks and still we were impossibly uncompetitive. As Naem gracefully concedes, "They're cheating. Dia ambik corner macam ayam. Memang confirm menipu." (He took the corner like a chicken; goddamnit he's definately cheating.)
Unfortunately, they weren't. I followed them for one lap, i have to admit, that they drove impeccably. Not a single scrape on the armco, and not a single wheel put wrong. They drove like monkeys on a banana tree. They braked extremely late, and their apexes were smack bang on the money. I on the other hand was constantly struggling with the finer arts of power oversteer, without constantly ramming into my team mate. We lost in the M3 CSL, the Carrera 2.7 RS, the Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale, the Porsche GT1, the 575 Maranello and every other car imaginable. In fact, when the both of us were using M3 CSLs, a common variety M3 blitzed by us a second a lap. No wait, a second for every checkpoint. WTF...
You see; Live is about common Machismo. It's about winning an additional thousand times, because the first one's for the bag, and every other win is for the ego. It's a deeply humbling sensation and it has brought us both to our virtual knees. It's about the stark realization that, not only are we pathetically uncompetitive in the macro (global) sense, we are also, effectively:
Dead Last.
I'm sure we've all gone through some form of competition in our lives. Exams, Sports, Penis envy, Gadget collections and of course the exponentially expanding Video Games tournies.
Okay, I'm not talking about the one on one, i beat you, you beat me, we all boast about it-kinda of competition. You see, when we're on live, we not only go against every other like minded enthusiasts, we also go against the cream and the crud of the crop. Well i suppose that's fine, since there's always gotta be balance in any aspect of life. Whenever there's a winner there has to be a loser.
However, in this bleak scenario the loser is a constant, in a wildly chaotic world of universal unknowns. A+B=Eddie and Naem. We're the constant.
You see, it's not like we're not trying. Not to tickle our own fansies, but we're pretty good in isolation. Among all our friends, we're definately grade-A material when it comes to bulging our eyeballs on the TV. But let us out of our self imposed captivity - and all hell breaks loose. On us.
We've used all of our favourite cars on all of our favorite tracks and still we were impossibly uncompetitive. As Naem gracefully concedes, "They're cheating. Dia ambik corner macam ayam. Memang confirm menipu." (He took the corner like a chicken; goddamnit he's definately cheating.)
Unfortunately, they weren't. I followed them for one lap, i have to admit, that they drove impeccably. Not a single scrape on the armco, and not a single wheel put wrong. They drove like monkeys on a banana tree. They braked extremely late, and their apexes were smack bang on the money. I on the other hand was constantly struggling with the finer arts of power oversteer, without constantly ramming into my team mate. We lost in the M3 CSL, the Carrera 2.7 RS, the Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale, the Porsche GT1, the 575 Maranello and every other car imaginable. In fact, when the both of us were using M3 CSLs, a common variety M3 blitzed by us a second a lap. No wait, a second for every checkpoint. WTF...
You see; Live is about common Machismo. It's about winning an additional thousand times, because the first one's for the bag, and every other win is for the ego. It's a deeply humbling sensation and it has brought us both to our virtual knees. It's about the stark realization that, not only are we pathetically uncompetitive in the macro (global) sense, we are also, effectively:
Dead Last.
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